I felt delighted and embarrassed at the same time

I check the TV listings online everyday. I found a TV show that featured the town I was moving to. I was looking forward to it in front of the TV. When the show started, I realized it was about how to live inexpensively after retiring. The town was introduced as the area that had many budget apartments where retirees with a drastic income drop could afford and save money. The show chose a couple of apartments as super money-saver ones of all others. To my surprise, my new apartment was one of them! Seeing the exact building I was about to move in on TV, I felt delighted and embarrassed at the same time. To sum up, the apartment I selected is one of the best bargain apartments located in the least expensive area in Japan. It proved my discerning eye as a bargain hunter, but also declared my new place was the cheapest in the country on national television. I have a low income, all right, but I’m not retiring…

mountain of potato tempura

At the end of the last year, I won a prize drawing of a snack company and got a boxful of potatoes. I was very pleased to receive it but I had forgotten that I wasn’t a frequent cook. I finally found time to cook potatoes yesterday. The potatoes have already begun to bud. I’ve heard that a potato’s bud is poisonous and I was afraid enough to decide to eat them as soon as possible. I cooked them into tempura. The whole dinner was potato tempura. It was delicious, but eating from a mountain of potato tempura, it looked more and more like a confrontation. The leftovers still sit in the fridge and there are a lot more potatoes in the box waiting for me. They should have been a prize, not a punishment…

His big secret was out.

While I was packing my stuff to move to my new place, I inadvertently dropped a scale model of a Formula One car yesterday. It’s a McLaren MP4/6 with Ayrton Senna in it, and handmade by my American friend who made it for me and gave me as a gift a long time ago. A rear wing, a front flap, a mirror and a steering wheel came off. The model is so elaborate and the repair seems to require delicate work. I’m not so confident of repairing it as good as it was, and felt depressed. I talked about it to my partner later, and he hinted it had been already broken before I dropped it. When I asked him what he meant, he guiltily confessed that he had once dropped it by himself a few years before. Because the damage was on the opposite side of the display, he hadn’t told me that to this date. His big secret was out. I felt a little easier to find out that I was not to blame. But it remains broken all the same…

It’s a wonder I still survive in this world.

The other night, I had a dream about joining the military. I was going through various kinds of training and failed each one of them. As I couldn’t do any physical activities, the training officer asked me if I could cook or wash. I answered honestly I couldn’t do either. The officer asked my former profession and I told him that I was a singer-songwriter. He suggested me to be in the entertainment division, but I refused because I didn’t like to perform in front of people. There was nothing I could do. Then, for some reason, I was deployed to Afghanistan. And I woke up. It was a wild dream but the part that I couldn’t do anything satisfactorily was a fact. Getting out of bed, I realized again how little I could do. It’s a wonder I still survive in this world…