free time brought back bad memories and regrets

Lately I’ve been depressed which is so unlike me. I wonder why. Is it because I fell for a scam of an auction website? Or because the holiday season is past and there is a long way to have the next one? Or because Carrefour is closing for good? I thought I might be simply tired and took the day off two days in a row. I was going to be relaxed, do nothing and refresh my mind. Instead, the free time brought back bad memories and regrets from my past and I felt more negative…

I feel as if I threw away my past.

As I’ve been packing my stuff to move out this apartment, various things of sentimental value to me have come out from the back of the shelves. I’ve lived here for nine years and forgotten about most of them since I stored them away. Some are no longer useful, but when I clear them out, I feel as if I threw away my past. That makes me melancholy. Occasionally, I find some money. It’s like I get a bonus for packing, but it’s simply what I stashed by myself in the first place and not what I newly gained. Mostly, what I find are numerous room slippers and old broken appliances. I don’t understand why I kept so many slippers without using. Packing and moving requires a great deal of labor and time. Worst of all, the broken appliances appear one after another and discarding them is costly. I have to pay for each one of them just to dump…